What’s The Best Way to Teach Boys to Value Girls?

 

A friend recently posed a question on Facebook: What strategies have you used to teach middle-school boys about valuing the worth of girls/women?

My Answers:

Teach boys self-worth and how to value themselves, first, and as an extension, how to value others.
Teach both physical and emotional intimacy. A lot of these things can and should start before middle school, but middle school is better than never.
Teach them the realities of how women are mistreated/undervalued in society (pay disparity, job inequality, etc.), and why it’s important to advocate for those with less power.
Explicitly teach them to value their bodies and women’s bodies via age-appropriate sex education, which includes discussing the realities of the porn industry and how it affects our valuing of sex and women. This also includes explicitly teaching consent (CLICK HERE for pointers on NOT Raising Rapists).
Ensure parents are on board with what you’re teaching and that they’re reinforcing these messages at home and especially in the media their kids are exposed to.
Teach boys to hold others, especially other males, accountable for their sexism and/or misogyny.

The time to be a leader isn’t later. The time to lead is now. Their ability to lead is now. During the preadolescent years, parental influence is paramount. But during the middle-school years, we tend to see a shift in how children internalize parental vs. peer values, so the earlier parents can model and make their ideals meaningful, the better. Likewise, the more we can help adolescents hold each other accountable on some of these issues, the better, because their peer groups become considerable influencers as they age.

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Biblical Intimacy Looks Like 2 Things: Sacrifice and Redemption

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I N T I M A C Y will look like 2 things: SACRIFICE and REDEMPTION. Growing close, deepening love, fully knowing and being known will look like restoration. It’ll look like the Word becoming flesh and moving in, like being naked and vulnerable…on a cross, like fighting death and hell to claim what’s yours.

3-Minute Video of How Our Intimacy with Others Mirrors Our Relationship with God:

Boundaries: Avoiding Pain Is NOT the Endgame

man head downB O U N D A R I E S are important, but avoiding pain is NOT the endgame of a Christian. Restoration requires sacrifice. It’ll cost you something to love others well. Sometimes, the biggest thing it’ll cost you is your pride. The children of Israel exalted the things God sent to bless them above God Himself (worshiping Gideon’s ephod to celebrate God’s victory, honoring Moses’ bronze serpent God sent for their healing, etc.). You can exalt the fences so high that what should bless you (boundaries) becomes an idol – something you trust MORE than you trust God’s design of restoration. Boundaries are good, but only if governed by God.

3-minute message:

Broken Relationships – #FirstSundays Prayer Call

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Tonight (Sunday, October 5th) at 9pm CST/10pm EST, we will have the first of the First Sundays prayer calls. It’s scheduled to be a 20 minute call with a brief testimony on a specific topic followed by prayer over those struggling in the area addressed. Tonight’s testimony and prayer topic is BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS. The dial-in information is on the flyer above, but I will also type it below. If you can’t make the prayer call in time, know that it will be recorded and playback/replay information is below, as well. I hope you can make it on and share the information with others who would be blessed!

DIAL: (605) 562-0020

ID # : 667-470-577

PLAYBACK # : (605) 562-0029

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