B O U N D A R I E S are important, but avoiding pain is NOT the endgame of a Christian. Restoration requires sacrifice. It’ll cost you something to love others well. Sometimes, the biggest thing it’ll cost you is your pride. The children of Israel exalted the things God sent to bless them above God Himself (worshiping Gideon’s ephod to celebrate God’s victory, honoring Moses’ bronze serpent God sent for their healing, etc.). You can exalt the fences so high that what should bless you (boundaries) becomes an idol– something you trust MORE than you trust God’s design of restoration. Boundaries are good, but only if governed by God.
The 3-minute video below is the third part in a series on boundaries. The first was about the purpose of boundaries – protecting the fruitfulness God expects from what He’s planting in your life (CLICK HERE to view). The second was about knowing if/when to set boundaries in relationships – it’s always when, not if (CLICK HERE to view). Below, I briefly address the question of how we know if we should forgive someone, and let them back “in” or restrict their access to us. This mixes two aspects, FORGIVENESS and BOUNDARIES – both are important, and both lead to healing and healthy relationships. See how:
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Reblogging post on confrontation with a 3-minute video on setting boundaries. Rabbits don’t like when you put up a fence to keep them out of your garden, but producing fruit requires setting boundaries. “I’m a fan of mercy, and I’m a fan of grace, but that does not nullify the boundaries of God.” Love shows restraint; it doesn’t just do whatever it wants whenever it wants. Love both sets and keeps boundaries.
I’ve been hit left and right these last few days with the reality that I need to engage in some loving confrontation to move forward in a healthy way. I was relatively clear on this notion on Monday, but by Wednesday (yesterday), I’d talked myself down from fully walking out in faith. I’d told myself, “Well, maybe I just need to be strong enough to address this issue should it come up again.” But, the reality is, God doesn’t want us to take a passive stance on confrontation. I thank Pastor Roger Hernandez for his obedience to blog about this. His Spirit-led tweets talked me out of the corner of fearing confrontations that need to be had.
In Matthew 18:15-20, the Word tells us to go to those who’ve harmed us, not to wait, but to be proactive and go to them. The whole purpose is to “gain…